8 Secrets To Happiness Even When Your Partner Has ADHD

Despite the negative notion of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or simply ADHD, relationships can be successful regardless of whether somebody in the relationship has the disorder or not. We might not be entirely familiar of ADHD in adults, as we are most aware of the disorder on children. However, ADHD can be present in adults, too. Moreover, it can affect life, career, and relationships.

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With the consistently rising awareness of adult ADHD and continuous research being done by experts and professionals, people with this disorder can live normal lives and engage in successful relationships. Making an ADHD relationship work can be challenging, but it is a wonderful experience and a great showcase of your love for one another.

 

Here are eight secrets to happiness in your relationship, even when your partner has ADHD:

 

 

  • Become Educated

 

To make the relationship work, you must be equipped with enough knowledge of the disorder. Become aware of the particular type of ADHD your partner has, and research on effective means on how to cope with it. Talk with your partner and know what his or her symptoms are. Ask questions for your partner and his or her counselor, if applicable. 

 

 

  • Slow Down

 

With ADHD, your partner can live a life with constant struggles and freakouts. Keep in mind that two people freaking out is not the ideal solution. Keep a calm mind and stay cool and collected. Help your partner organize his or her activities, and figure out a way to relax that works best for the both of you to stay away from the constant buzz of life.

 

 

  • Accept Imperfections

 

Respect each other’s imperfections. Learn to love each other’s quirks and uniqueness. Nobody is perfect. Even though you do not have ADHD, still, you are not perfect. Accept that your partner will go through ups and downs, just like you will. The best thing to do is to keep reminding each other of the lovely things that made you fall in love and maintain the relationship growing.

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  • Regularize Routine

 

Having a routine that you religiously follow can be a massive help in slowing down the symptoms and preventing freakouts. Structure out your activities to help you and your partner achieve goals. Prevent mess by sticking to your routine. It will help provide you and your partner the very much needed peace of mind.

 

 

  • Enrich The Positive

 

Dwelling on the negative aspects of your relationship will lead you to no progress. Look for the positive aspects of your relationship and enrich it. Shower your partner with compliments every day and keep reminding him or her of the things that made you fall in love. Focus on the wonderful characteristics, the things that make you laugh, and cultivate the good times.

 

 

  • Resolve Conflicts

 

Do not stay stuck in an argument. It will not make the relationship move forward. Do not let an argument remain as the elephant in the room for a long time. In approaching the conflicts, stay calm and discuss the issue without throwing loud words and discouragement. Making decisions when you are angry can lead to more conflicts, too. Refresh your minds by taking your personal space to manage your mind and your emotions, and resolve the conflict together.

 

 

  • Constant Communication

 

Always communicate with each other. Constant communication, whether or not somebody has ADHD or any other disorder, is the key to a healthy relationship. Do not keep heavy feelings inside. Instead, let each other be aware of any negative feelings and resolve it together. Be considerate of each other’s opinions because both of your words matter.

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  • Empower Self-love

 

Loving another can be challenging when you do not love yourself first. Promote self-love in your relationship to help strengthen the love you have for one another. Encourage “me” time and be mindful of each other’s spaces. Be supportive of each other’s routines, refrain from judgment, be patient and be understanding.

What Is It like Marrying Someone with ADHD?

No man is an island. That’s why fate brings two people together to take care and love each other, and be there no matter what. This eventuality leads to marriage – which is the legal or formal union of two partners in a relationship.

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Love knows no borders. Even if your partner may have some inadequacies, or maybe even attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, you will still be in love with him or her wholeheartedly. But do you ever wonder how that would play up in marriage?

 

Those with ADHD are probably harder to be with than regular partners. And it’s not just because of what they have; it’s what they do because of the disorder.

 

What is the life of someone married to a person with ADHD? Here are some FACTS you need to know:

 

You Will Have To Deal With Dramatic Mood Swings

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Contrary to popular belief, mood swings don’t just happen out of nowhere. People with ADHD have such strong emotional reactions that cause the change in their mood. And no, it’s not bipolar disorder (that’s different) because this is something they can’t fully control. If you have a spouse that often displays this type of behavior, be careful not to snap back. You need to have more patience and understanding to prevent fights from happening.

 

You Will Feel Ignored

Most non-ADHD spouses face this harsh reality. They describe being married to a person with ADHD as “absolutely exhilarating,” because of their energy, intense focus, and creativity in the relationship. But when things settle down, they find themselves being ignored, and left alone, because their beau has something else that got their attention (not necessarily a third party). The feeling of being ignored might turn to resentment, and anger, if not appropriately discussed.

 

You Will Be Exhausted

Not all people with ADHD are lazy. But, these people also display a lack of equal sharing in responsibilities, more often than not. Now if you’re married to someone, and you’re on the other end, you will be physically exhausted and drained. At first, it may seem bearable. But of course, not all things last that way. That inconsistency and burden will eat you up in the future. If you don’t want to be stressed out, you should try and get things done with your beau!

 

You Will Freak Out

One of the common things about a person with ADHD, they have this extreme desire to keep things organized. Such is the case for Jessica, in which she cites that her husband’s way of coping with the disorder was to stay “strictly organized,” and also have a “rigid structure in his life.” If there is one thing that for them isn’t in order, they will freak out. And that would somehow create a domino effect on you, causing you to freak out as well.

 

Love is love, no matter what.

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If you married someone because you love him or her, you should be able to accept him or her for what he or she is and be ready to face the challenges that will come both your ways. You have to be the bigger person, and come up with strategies that would also help your partner. But remember, just not in a condescending manner.

Things To Take Into Consideration When Marrying A Recovering Sex Addict

Living together with a loved one can uncover deep-seated emotions and struggles. These struggles may include sexual addictions and deviations. It can help the relationship if you have a full understanding of your partner’s history.

 

Without prior knowledge of your partner’s tendencies, you may feel deceived and thus, your marriage will be susceptible to divorce.

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Before saying “I do,” here are some of the things you should be able to anticipate in marrying a person recovering from sexual addiction.

 

  • Know The Full Extent Of Their Condition

Up to what extent do you know your partner? Do you know what medication they are taking, or do they have any? If you know your partner is suffering from sexual addiction, you should know their full condition.

 

Knowing the full extent of their condition includes knowing when the condition began, what their triggering instances are, what they do to cope, and knowing when your partner decided to stop their addiction.

 

  • Be Ready To Support Them When Needed

Recovering addicts need support from their loved ones. The initial list of this support group includes your name at the top. Thus, you should anticipate the need to encourage your spouse often. Your spouse will need it at every stage of his or her recovery process. Moreover, your spouse should constantly be reassured that you are not judging them for their condition.

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On the other hand, do not underestimate the importance of participating an established peer support group. A support group may be able to address some issues you cannot do on your own. Often, these support groups are moderated by medical professionals. The support group may help your spouse to recover faster from his/her addiction.

 

  • It Has Nothing To Do With You

You should be able to anticipate that marrying a recovering sex addict can have psychological effects on you, as a spouse. Psychologically, you will at times be blaming yourself for your spouse’s sexual addiction. It should not be the case. Regardless of what you do, it has nothing to do with you.

 

The addiction is your spouse’s problem and your only role in this process is to provide them with a safe space for healing. You are adequate. You should not be overcompensating due to your spouse’s addiction.

 

  • The Possibility Of Relapse

Also, take the possibility of relapse of a full-blown addiction into account when marrying a recovering sex addict.

 

Establish a game plan when this happens. What will be your initial response to the act? You should be able to keep calm and know your next steps.

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Initially, who will you approach when this happens? Maintain a list of trusted people who will be able to give sound advice when you need it.

 

Ultimately, several factors are needed to consider in marrying a recovering sex addict. It takes a lot of courage and hard-line decision-making skills. More often than not, in this relationship, you should be more stable psychologically to be able to support your partner in his/her struggle.

 

Every relationship is unique. You will have to decide if you are ready to take on this challenge and reap the rewards at the end.