Attending the 2017 Health Forum was refreshing. They addressed many issues about behavioral health, mental health, and substance use. There was also a portion there wherein personal stories of hope and recovery were relayed, which made many of the community members inspired. I, for one, was given hope that our community was supportive of families with disorders within. They also discussed the “No Wrong Door” movement that they started, which may have saved a lot of people in their battle with mental health issues.
Children with ADHD can be hard to handle, mainly if your child sometimes acts up and is out of control. This article (tips from therapists) will help you understand your child better so you will know how to handle them in cases like these.
- Figure out the causes of their behavior. Most children with ADHD act out when they are triggered. It could mean anything and that they can be triggered by anything, so it is best to talk to them calmly and ask why they are behaving that way.
- Have a routine. A child with ADHD needs to have a consistent routine that will help them be organized. A small change can affect their behavior because they cannot cope up with the new change in their daily routine.
- Use a reward system, so your child knows the excellent behavior from the bad. This way they slowly understand what is right from wrong but make sure that that you don’t overdo the rewards for they can get used to it and do good only because they are receiving something in return.
- Social cues are essential, especially for a child with ADHD. They have to understand that their behaviors can emotionally affect other people, especially when they are acting up or showing lousy behavior. When they know that there are consequences to the actions they do, they will change their behavior. Give direct and straightforward orders so that they understand what you want them to do.
- Always stay calm. Children with ADHD can be sensitive and emotional and can be easily upset over a small thing. It can also be stressful when they do not listen, and you can be irritated but keep in mind that they cannot control their actions and emotions. It will take a lot of effort, but there are positive results with this.
- Make sure you are precise when setting up consequences. They will not follow when they see that you cannot follow through with the rules you made. They will think that their actions are okay if you let it pass. It will be hard, but you have to be firm and strict for this is the best thing for your child.
- Help your child redirect their behavior. You must guide them through the process. There will be therapy and sometimes medication, but it should not stop there. They also have to be supervised at home for they are there most of the time. If they need assistance at school, then it is best also to inform teachers so they can take part in helping your child.
- Reflect on how you treat your child. Sometimes if your child is not listening to you, there might be a problem with how you set up your rules. Make sure that you are doing the right thing, even be strict, if that what helps your child develop better behavior.
- Think of the good things instead of the bad. There will be a big difference in both you and your child’s behavior development if you know how to look on the bright side of things. This will also influence your child to act well and to have self-control so they could gradually become more and more behaved until they adapt.
- Never forget to show love. The most important thing is to teach your child your appreciation and respect. They can really be affected positively because of this. If you show love, then you can have a better relationship with your child. You can understand him or her better and be more prepared on how to help him, or she overcome this challenge.
Once you’ve done this, then for sure your child’s behavior will have a better chance of improving in a faster way. Always keep in mind that your child doesn’t do this intentionally. On the outside, he may be challenging to handle, but deep within he struggles.
Give them sympathy, love, and care, and do your part in helping your child. Do your research about ADHD and how you, as a parent, can make your child’s life easier and bearable. It is confusing for a little kid not to know why they cannot control their emotions and actions, and they will look into how you can help them understand what they are going through.
Make sure you let the people around you and your child understand the situation that he or she is in so they could also help you. This way, you can build a support system for your child and an environment that will not make them worse. If you do this, then your child could grow up happy and disciplined at the same time.
What Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)?
ADHD is a behavioral disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. This disorder can occur in children, adolescents, and adults. Symptoms of ADHD begins in early childhood, but sometimes, it may not be diagnosed until an individual is an adult. Not all signs of ADHD are present in a person. There are combinations of symptoms that can be characterized, and each person has a different psychology.
Combined Presentation – symptoms of inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity are both present
Predominately Inattentive Presentation – Inattentiveness without the symptoms of hyperactivity/impulsivity
Predominately Hyperactivity – Impulsive Presentation – Hyperactivity/impulsivity without the symptoms of Inattention
Signs Of Inattention Includes
- Difficulty paying close attention
- Difficulty sustaining attention
- Trouble with listening
- The trouble with following instructions
- The trouble with organizing tasks
- The trouble with tasks involving sustained mental effort
- Problem with Focusing
- Often loses things
- Symptoms of hyperactivity/impulsivity
- Fidgets with hand and legs
- The trouble with being seated
- Runs and climbs in inappropriate times and places
- Difficulty engaging in quiet play
- Always on the go
- Difficulty waiting his/her turn
- Interrupts others
Children with ADHD have problems in school, at home and with finding and keeping friends. These difficulties can lead to low self-esteem. Also, children with ADHD have low frustration tolerance and can have trouble finishing simple tasks in school and at home that often leads to learning disabilities, oppositional behaviors, and mood disorders.
Adults diagnosed with ADHD have difficulty with day to day tasks at work. They also have trouble with interpersonal relationships. Adults who are diagnosed seem to be disorganized and scattered.
How Is ADHD Diagnosed?
Diagnosis of ADHD is based on the patient’s reports though sometimes inattentiveness and hyperactivity/impulsivity can be symptoms of other underlying disorders such as anxiety. There are psychological tests available that doctors give their patients to determine if their symptoms are symptoms of ADHD and not entirely something else. A psychologist or psychiatrist should only make a diagnosis.
Who Can Diagnose And Treat ADHD?
Psychiatrist – a psychiatrist, is a medical doctor who specializes in treating mental disorders. They perform diagnosis and be able to prescribe specific medication to patients. The cost of seeing a psychiatrist is expensive ranging from $200 and more per hour. They might not be the best choice for someone with ADHD because they don’t have the training for counseling and helping a person with ADHD go about their regular life.
Psychologist – A psychologist can treat a person with ADHD through therapy, but he/she is not an MD, therefore, cannot prescribe medication to a patient. If medication is needed, he/she will have to go to a medical doctor or psychiatrist for a prescription.
Family Doctor – your family doctor, can help with the diagnosis of ADHD and may know a bit about the symptoms but will most likely not be able to treat ADHD.
Nurse Practitioner – just like your family doctor, a nurse practitioner can diagnose ADHD but will not be able to treat or perform therapies for the patient because there is a lack of practice and knowledge.
Neurologist – a neurologist, is a practitioner that focuses on the brain and nervous system. He/she could help determine if there are underlying problems such as seizure but cannot perform therapies to patients with ADHD. They might refer an EEG, but it is not recommended for people diagnosed with ADHD.
Master Level Counselor – he/she has a master/s degree either in psychology or counseling and can assess patients with ADHD if necessary though they might have a problem with diagnosis and will still need to refer a patient to a psychiatrist. He/she also cannot prescribe medication.
Social Worker – a Master of Social Welfare (MSW) or a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) are often employed by agencies to provide counseling to people who the agencies help, though they are inexpensive, they are not medical doctors and could have a different diagnosis than medical professionals. They only provide counseling and will still need to refer you to a professional.
How Is ADHD Treated?
Cognitive – behavioral therapy and Medication are treatments for ADHD. This kind of therapy helps the patient to control his/her hyperactivity and inattentiveness. There are treatments for every combination, and this can help the patient to perform day to day tasks a little easier and can improve their focus and attention span.
Medications are also prescribed to patients. Most parents of young patients do not approve of medicine, though. Treating ADHD with medication only will not make any improvement when the drug stops. Most of the time, symptoms come back when the drug stops.
Treating ADHD can be a complicated thing if you do not have proper assessment and diagnosis. Always go to a professional who specializes with ADHD to prevent unnecessary expenses and for you to have the best diagnosis and treatments to help a loved one who is suffering from ADHD.
Online therapy has been designed to help mental health patients deal with their conditions without leaving the house, but there are illnesses that it may not indeed be useful for. E.g., ADHD, Alzheimer’s disease, and other neurological disorders that have not been triggered by different circumstances. The thing is, most – if not all – of them are incurable; that’s why the disabled individuals tend to rely on drugs that might slow down the progression of the illnesses.
Now, one of those supplements that people have started to embrace is fish oil, considering it can do the following.
Promote Brain Optimization
There is an excellent possibility that you know the tune of one of Whitney Houston’s songs which pertains to children as essential players in our future. You do not have to sing it, but realize that a decade or more from this moment, they will be dominating the labor force. Hence, from age 0 onwards, the kids need to get the right polyunsaturated fatty acids so that their brain can obtain all the nutrients necessary to preserve its sharpness.
This nutrition starts even when they are still in the mother’s belly. The reviews in Obstetrics and Gynecology in 2010 has learned that omega-3 can aid in the brain growth and retina optimization of fetuses. They have found out too that not a lot of moms-to-be in the United States attain enough EPAs and DHAs because they are scared that the fish they will get has traces of mercury in it.
Although that is a valid point, it is unwise to entirely go through pregnancy without these essentials fats, especially if you aspire for your baby to be the next President of the American nation or something. High-quality fish oil contains large portions of DHA and EPA, so when your physician gives you the appropriate signal to make this your natural supplement during your entire pregnancy, do it. You have to remember asking for a doctor’s opinion before ordering any product that can affect the unborn child in your womb.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can persist as early as three years old. This brain disorder shows the patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity of a person, which prevents his or her mind from developing naturally.
Studies have discussed the probable causes of ADHD, but the experts continue to discover what the specific reasons are. Some of the researches have directed to the fact that it can be inherited or the patient’s brain structure is a bit different from that of the regular individual. The child may have also been exposed to alcoholic beverages, drugs, lead (heavy metal), and cigarettes as he or she was still in the mother’s womb or was born at the 37th week or less.
The absolute cure for ADHD is not known. However, several institutions have investigated the potential of omega-3 in improving the overall function of children with this disorder. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has observed through trials that polyunsaturated fatty acid supplements have demonstrated more positive effects than the medications used in an ADHD therapy, as well as gentler side effects.
In the Journal of Child Neurology in 2012, a significant number of parents whose children have been treated with a combination of omega-3 and omega-6 for six months have seen progress in their kid’s school performance, ability to finish tasks, assertiveness, and disquiet. On the other hand, the Nutrition Physiology Center of the University of South Australia compared the effectiveness of EPA and DHA oils against safflower oil (for omega-6) in 2012. They have noticed that the children who have an increase of DHA in their red blood cells after four months exhibit better reading, spelling, and attentiveness.
Reduce Alzheimer’s Risk
If men and women are afraid of having prostate and breast cancer, respectively, you should be more terrified of having an Alzheimer’s disease, which is the sixth primary reason of death in the United States.
Alzheimer’s is a form of dementia – a neurological disorder – that may or may not indicate symptoms during the early stages. This takes place when a lot of brain cells die increasingly, so the size of the brain shrinks. The unfortunate result is that the person suffering from this will be unable to comprehend daily life happenings, have a steady behavior, and remember his or her hobbies, friends and family members. What is frightening about it is that this is the only unpreventable cause of death.
But then again, the omega-3 in fish oil has shown the likelihood of slowing down the effects of this neurodegenerative disease to respondents who are above the age of 65. The similar result has been established by independent research conducted by Center for Memory and Brain Health and its colleagues in 2009, while the Department of Medicine at the University of California has suggested that early consumption of DHA can bring more pleasing consequences.
Like with other supplements, fish oil is among those substances that still require a lot of clinical trials before everyone can say that they are beneficial for such disorders. Some factors may come into play too, which can prevent your doctor from recommending it. Nevertheless, the information that we currently have is quite promising, and things may progress in the near future.
Thousands currently suffer from ADHD and numbers are set to increase. In truth, ADHD is a common condition and, while it forms in children, it can remain with them for the rest of their lives. When moving into the workplace, having ADHD can be a scary thought and one that you worry about. So, when you have ADHD and are working, how will that affect you and those around you? Read on to find out a little more information on ADHD in the workplace.
How Does ADHD Affect You In The Workplace?
ADHD can affect you and your co-workers in a variety of ways. For example, if you do not have any issues with this in the workplace, then very few people will be aware of the condition being a problem for you. However, if your ADHD gets bad, you might become a little hyper and it can make others feel uncomfortable. Of course, you never know how you will react until it happens so it would be unfair to say how it’ll affect you in the workplace.
Will You Be Eligible For Work with ADHD?
To be honest, there are no restrictions as to who can apply and be accepted for a job, even when you have ADHD. However, you will need to ensure you disclose this information on your job application or during the interview stage. It might never become an issue at work but employers need to know as it could affect the type of health or medical insurance they can get for you. At the end of the day, you need to protect yourself first and foremost so disclosing can be important. If the doctor says you are eligible for work you can work, even with ADHD. People with this do so much more than ever before and that’s the positive thing with the condition.
How Tolerant Will Employers Be With Your Behavior?
Surprisingly, more and more employers are accommodating those with ADHD and many other conditions. It isn’t an enforced thing but rather an equal opportunity thing and that is great. Most employers will hire those with a passion for their jobs and who is able to do their job correctly; if you can do your job, ADHD won’t matter to them. Tolerance can be fairly high within the workplace today and there are now more who will hire those with it. There is a great element to working and you can feel so much more positive and happier.
Take It a Day at a Time
ADHD can be a very difficult condition to live with. When you are a child, it can be very troublesome but when you reach adulthood it’s very problematic, to say the least. However, if you get the right help to deal with this condition, you might find your life becomes a lot smoother. Many workplaces now accommodate employees from all walks of life and with mental handicaps. Being an ADHD sufferer doesn’t stop you from getting a great job and you can deal with it effectively in the workplace too.
ADHD is among the (yet) incurable diseases that affect men, women, and children of all ages. Being hyperactive and having short attention span are the typical symptoms of it, and some think they live like that on a daily basis. What those individuals don’t know is that such indicators are not always in blast mode. It just takes place when certain things exacerbate them.
What are the triggering factors for ADHD, you ask?
Our bodies naturally react with foods in different manners. Some people can eat anything and never need to worry about dieting or allergies. On the other hand, there are also folks who can’t eat particular products without breaking into hives or feeling out of control. The latter usually is the case that some ADHD patients live with.
The culprits are the artificial preservatives, flavor enhancers, and synthetic dyes we willingly put in the foods. Yes, they make the meals taste and look better. Yes, they are easier to incorporate than the natural spices. But these items, especially the MSG, can instantly intensify the signs of ADHD.
Going through menopause is already a pain in the you-know-what by itself. Once the estrogen level depletes, it influences the cognitive part of the brain to malfunction as well. Thus, it’s difficult to remember tasks or find the right words. Those are debilitating to handle, but emotions can escalate by several folds if you have ADHD on top of that.
What’s even more devastating here is that the drugs meant to subdue the disorder may not be useful in menopausal women. You’ll most likely experience the symptoms of both conditions until the changes in your hormones pass. Unfortunately, there’s nothing anyone can do just yet to remedy this problem, so you should learn to get stuff done when the signals aren’t at their peak.
ADHD patients appear to be very sensitive when it comes to noises and sights. Some things that others find fun or exhilarating can trigger their hyperactivity and make them lose control. The list may include being on the concert grounds, attending a party, or even merely watching lights twinkle. Of course, the booming sounds that accompany the first two mentioned can also tick them off.
Likewise, excessive stimulation can happen once you use electronic gadgets for too long. Not only does it prevent you from freeing your hyperactive self but the texts and images continuously flashing on the monitor can exacerbate the situation also.
Stress is another game-changer for folks who are trying to deal with ADHD. It affects everything, from your sleep (or lack thereof) to your immunity levels. The symptoms of the disorder correlate with stress because being unable to concentrate on the project at hand or stay still can aggravate the latter. And when the pressure heightens, the ADHD indicators flare up as well. It’s like a never-ending cycle, to be honest, but you can only get rid of stress so make sure to work on it to tone down your ADHD.
Can you work with ADHD? How will others perceive you and can you live a normal life when you have ADHD? These are only a handful of questions that people ask and yet there are many who do not know how to answer them. So, what is the truth? What is it like to work with ADHD? Read on to find out a few key factors.
There Are Good and Bad Days
In truth, like everyone else, there are going to be good days and bad days and sometimes the bad will outweigh the good. However, having said that, you can have a great and fun working environment and a safe one too. There are far too many people who believe ADHD will stop them working but it doesn’t and as long as you explain the condition to employers you have every chance of gaining employment. Yes, you are going to be working with ADHD and that will mean days which you find are normal, days which are a little less normal and others which are a bit of both. That is ADHD—it can be unpredictable.
You Can Work Successfully
As said, working with ADHD is very much possible and there are millions who do so on a day-to-day basis. If you love the idea of working but suffer from ADHD, you should note that it is very much possible to work. However, you should talk to your doctor and ensure they advise you, you’re healthy enough to start. This can help to ensure you find the right time to get into the workplace and see comfortable working with ADHD.Get some details from http://www.health24.com/Medical/ADHD/Managing-ADHD/got-adhd-theres-an-app-for-that-20170421
Share Your News with Others
Don’t be afraid to tell coworkers about ADHD. This is nothing to be ashamed of and it can maybe even allow you to befriend fellow employees. What’s more, you can actually explain what ADHD is and that may allow people to have a better understanding of it. This could be more than useful within the workplace and find it really helps people to get to know you better. Sometimes, talking about it helps especially when you’re new.
Living without Borders
It is very much possible to live and work with ADHD. This has become a very common condition in recent years and there are many who suffer from it. Can and should you work? Well, yes you can work and it’s up to you if you feel ready and able enough to work. If you feel it’s time to get back into the workplace, then why not? You get out of the house and you might be able to make new friends and meet new people.
Enjoy Working with ADHD
Working when you have ADHD scares a lot of people as they think they couldn’t possibly hold down an average 9-to-5 job. However, that doesn’t always have to be the case. You can have a wonderful job and a great career even when you have ADHD. This is nothing to be ashamed of and it can help you in a lot of ways too. Be open and honest about ADHD and it’ll be an advantage to you.
For many children diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), school can be a struggle. The same is true for teachers. Teachers basically become second parents to their students, making sure they not only learn the material but also develop holistically.
This may come with extra struggles as the child may not respond well to usual class and learning strategies. Here are some practices to consider when dealing with students with ADHD and ADD.
Set Reasonable Expectations
Get to know your student in order to gauge their abilities. Many students with ADHD are very bright – they merely struggle to stay focused on work. Set reasonable expectations such as learning goals for the day. Describe clearly what you expect them to learn from the lesson. Make sure that they know and understand the tasks that have to be accomplished.
Discuss with the class basic ground rules you will set in the classroom. Have them posted or written somewhere. Establishing and enforcing these rules – in a positive manner – will help keep your students focused.
Set a Routine
Set up a simple routine such as writing tasks on the board or having a task tracker. This can greatly help not only your students with ADHD, but the entire class. Routine typically helps ADHD students stay focused or regain focus. Monitoring and enforcing this routine will help students get used to basic tasks, help them remember and do them on their own.
Learn to Adjust
While this doesn’t mean giving unfair special attention to the students, those with ADHD may need some extra attention compared to other students. Learn to look for compromises that will help those with ADHD as well as your other students.
This may include lessening longer assignments and tasks. Instead, give frequent short quizzes and activities. Organize class activities in such a way that you schedule more difficult tasks early during the class and allow down-time after.
It’s important to encourage your students, even when they make mistakes or lag behind now and then. Try to always be positive, but firm. For example, try to be forgiving if they take longer to accomplish a task than others. Be understanding. After they accomplish their task, encourage them to break their time record for the next task.
Minimize Distractions in Class
It helps to assign the student with ADHD to seat near the front. By giving almost direct instructions to the student, it lessens the distractions that may come with proper communication. Also, try to minimize things that may divert the child’s attention in the classroom. Remove any unnecessary toys or decorations, or store them somewhere out of sight.
Work with Their Parents
Learning takes place not only in the classroom but also at home. Partner with the child’s parents in order to ensure that they know what’s going on in school. This way, they can also help monitor their child at home and continue the established rules and routines that work in the classroom. This will further reinforce the positive techniques that work in school and help the child remember and follow them.
If you still struggle with handling students with ADHD, you can ask help from other professionals. You can try to find a therapist near you and refer them to the parents. You can simply check BetterHelp to find the therapists in your location.
Sometimes, a diagnosis of ADHD can come as a surprise. It is something that could shock you because you may not be aware of having such condition. It is the culprit why you find it hard not to meet your deadlines, the hindrance to achieving your life goals.
Medication And Therapy Together Can Save Your Day
For someone with ADHD, medicine is not always enough. Undergoing a therapy can help you a big deal. Psychologists say that medications often point a direct aim at your hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention. It is the therapy that helps fill the gap which your medicine fails to address.
Cognitive therapy teaches a person with ADHD the skills he needs to keep his work and home life on track. Through therapy, he will develop a sense of urgency while doing a task, find motivation when things get dull, improve time management skills by making one aware of how long it should take him to finish a particular work.
“Don’t Take Negative Comments To Heart,” Says A Therapist
Your emotional issues brought about by having ADHD can put you in trouble in your workplace and even in your personal life. Hearing a not so nice comment about you can lower your self-esteem, cause you to have anxiety, and can trigger depression. Your therapist is an ally who can work with you to help turn negative words from workmates, your boss, and other people around you into positive ones.
Allow Your Therapist To Teach You
Therapists expert in the field can assist you to work on your everyday skills such as
- Arrange schedules and deadlines
- Plan and know your priority
- Split large projects into manageable smaller chunks of tasks
- Help you monitor your progress in each task
Because your ADHD is a lifelong illness, you need a therapist whom you can talk to whenever you need him. He must be someone you can rely on as different stages of your life start to call for various new things. It is critical to find a person who understands your behavior, mood, and thinking.
Therapists You Should Avoid
Your therapist is not your disciplinarian, your critic, or your sympathizer. Avoid a therapist who easily gets agitated by your symptoms, a worrier, or a joker who finds your attacks something amusing. Immediately get out of the room when you see a therapist who solves problems by prescribing you massive doses of antipsychotic medications or someone who is all in just for money-making business.
Look for someone who is equipped with strategies and solutions designed to help you with your ADHD problems.
Finding the right therapy and therapist who can be your ally is essential for your survival – a person you can work with to learn techniques to be effective in your workplace and at home so you can reach your life goals. You can ask your primary care doctor if he knows an adult ADHD therapist who is capable. You can also search online for professional therapists in your area. And when you find one, you can directly ask him about his approach to treatment and tell him what precisely you need to work on.
Just like finding the right drug that will work for you, seeing the right therapist for you can also be a trial and error method. If your first few sessions did not work the way you expected them to, you can always go ahead and find someone whom you can work with effectively until you catch a good fit.
Life is complicated especially if you are married to someone with ADHD. I can personally attest to this fact because my husband of twenty years has the condition. He was diagnosed on his 40th birthday after we found out that our child has ASD and ADHD combined. The experts refer to it as a dual diagnosis. No wonder my son has it because my husband has ADHD too.
During the seventies and eighties, having behavioral issues is synonymous with mental health impairment. If a person has Asperger’s or autism, people will term him as mentally unstable or worse, abnormal or retarded.
Back then, there were no treatment programs for children with ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Asperger’s, Autism, Depression, PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and all the other mental health conditions. I even heard of an old wives tale that children who are extremely hyperactive are such because they have “demon” blood in them. It’s absurd, I know! That’s how uninformed people were decades ago.
Good thing today, the society is a bit open when it comes to mental health issues and behavioral concerns. There are now experts on these matters, and they are well-equipped on how to diagnose and handle such patients. The cause of all these ailments is attributed to disparities in genetic makeup, environmental influences, and other physical factors. It can be about chemical imbalances and hormonal problems. People who have these conditions didn’t choose to be like this and often, it is also impossible for them to control their behavior.
Going back to my husband, I can say that life has been an unending roller coaster ride. I love him with all my heart and soul, but sometimes I question, why am I in this relationship? What am I getting out of this? Can I still leave him even after 20 years of marriage and three children? When can I have a normal life?
I read from a research-based website that adults with ADHD have a very shallow level of attention. Every day, as I talk to him and tell him what I need for him to do, he will joyfully agree and say yes. The problem is that it won’t be done. I ask him to clean up the kitchen; he will say – sure. But when I go to the kitchen after a few hours, it’s still full of dishes and crap. I have to constantly remind him of what we need to do, especially if it’s not in our routine. And speaking of routine, it can’t be broken or else he’d freak out.
These are just some of the things that I endure each day being married to him. He takes money matters easily even to the point of acquiring a loan just to buy the newest car model – not thinking first if we can afford it.
He is very impulsive. I always have to pick up after him because he can’t follow through on things, and since he is the “man of the house,” I am expected to “honor” him and be submissive. How can I when things can be a total wreck?
I look back at our past, and he was a great guy, then. Where has he gone? I am looking for the man I fell in love with – funny, outgoing, athletic and kind. But this is the reality now, and I have to accept it.
We went to couples counseling and had our weekly sessions at Regain. Our counselor taught me how to act around him if I want his cooperation:
- touching him while talking to him or asking him to do something,
- maintaining eye contact when conversing and wait for him to reply,
- positively tell him about a time limit or due date, and
- remind him again of what needs to be done.
I know. It seems that I have to treat him like one of my children. If that is the case, then, I have to do it. Otherwise, I need to make a decision – leave or stay?