What Is It like Marrying Someone with ADHD?

No man is an island. That’s why fate brings two people together to take care and love each other, and be there no matter what. This eventuality leads to marriage – which is the legal or formal union of two partners in a relationship.

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Love knows no borders. Even if your partner may have some inadequacies, or maybe even attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, you will still be in love with him or her wholeheartedly. But do you ever wonder how that would play up in marriage?


Those with ADHD are probably harder to be with than regular partners. And it’s not just because of what they have; it’s what they do because of the disorder.


What is the life of someone married to a person with ADHD? Here are some FACTS you need to know:


You Will Have To Deal With Dramatic Mood Swings

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Contrary to popular belief, mood swings don’t just happen out of nowhere. People with ADHD have such strong emotional reactions that cause the change in their mood. And no, it’s not bipolar disorder (that’s different) because this is something they can’t fully control. If you have a spouse that often displays this type of behavior, be careful not to snap back. You need to have more patience and understanding to prevent fights from happening.


You Will Feel Ignored

Most non-ADHD spouses face this harsh reality. They describe being married to a person with ADHD as “absolutely exhilarating,” because of their energy, intense focus, and creativity in the relationship. But when things settle down, they find themselves being ignored, and left alone, because their beau has something else that got their attention (not necessarily a third party). The feeling of being ignored might turn to resentment, and anger, if not appropriately discussed.


You Will Be Exhausted

Not all people with ADHD are lazy. But, these people also display a lack of equal sharing in responsibilities, more often than not. Now if you’re married to someone, and you’re on the other end, you will be physically exhausted and drained. At first, it may seem bearable. But of course, not all things last that way. That inconsistency and burden will eat you up in the future. If you don’t want to be stressed out, you should try and get things done with your beau!


You Will Freak Out

One of the common things about a person with ADHD, they have this extreme desire to keep things organized. Such is the case for Jessica, in which she cites that her husband’s way of coping with the disorder was to stay “strictly organized,” and also have a “rigid structure in his life.” If there is one thing that for them isn’t in order, they will freak out. And that would somehow create a domino effect on you, causing you to freak out as well.


Love is love, no matter what.

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If you married someone because you love him or her, you should be able to accept him or her for what he or she is and be ready to face the challenges that will come both your ways. You have to be the bigger person, and come up with strategies that would also help your partner. But remember, just not in a condescending manner.

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